Picking Your Co-Founders

What's luck got to do with it?

This article was published on December 23, 2009.
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A friend of mine who'll remain anonymous is battling the demons of having a less than stellar co-founder. This person isn't sure what to do at this point: should they ride it out or part ways? They've asked me to write my thoughts on picking co-founders based on my experience. I've started half a dozen successful startups dating back to 1995, but will share stories of only my two most successful here.

Picking Your Co-Founders

Co-Founders of Convenience

I don't have any math to support my assumption, but based on my experience and the experience of many people I talk to, first time entrepreneurs tend to find themselves thrown together with co-founders of convenience. Meaning, they didn't go person-to-person with a specific checklist of co-founder requirements, expecting that somebody would turn out to be just the ticket. They simply stumbled upon one or more people — read Three's Company for why I think three co-founders is better than two — who were willing to try the experiment with them.

The same thing happens in love: You're not likely to marry your absolute dream girl or guy. Those paragons just don't happen to go to the parties you go to. You simply meet someone you connect with on a few basic levels and then as you get to know the person better you either stay with them for the long haul or you don't. Co-founders might as well be married, considering the amount of time we spend together arguing, planning, laughing, and staying awake nights, staring at the glow of our monitors.

Blind Luck

So that's what it's like when you're starting out. But after you've started your second or third or fourth startup, you may now have a pool of people that you know and trust to start your next startup with. Until then it's simply blind luck. When you're on your first startup, you're untested and your network is small and anyone willing to take the chance of co-founding with you is probably in the same boat. Therefore, you're basically going into it with no idea whether your chemistry and complementary skills will align properly down the road. How well will you work together? Do you have all the skills between you to get things done? Time will tell.

I want to tell my friend, who is on his first startup, that there are guidelines for picking a good co-founder, that it's not simply luck. But, sadly, I believe that as with anything you do for the first time there's a lot of luck involved in the outcome. Sure, "beginner's luck" exists, but it's still luck. I don't know the success of online dating, but I have to imagine the odds are scarily low. What's really scary, though, is that it's undoubtedly better with online dating, where you're being presented with more information: photograph, description, likes, dislikes, work, characteristics, and even psychology test results if, for example, you're on OkCupid. I wish I had all that information when finding a co-founder for the first time.

Story: TypeFrag

During my freshman year of college (2002-2003), I was a computer science student at Case Western Reserve before transferring to Yale. During the end of my first semester I founded a company called NetFusion (still around today) that provided web hosting, game server hosting, and Ventrilo hosting for computer game players. I "met" both of my partners online in a game of Counter-Strike. The three of us founded a Counter-Strike team together before founding NetFusion.

This partnership didn't last long, mainly because of huge arguments we'd have during our Counter-Strike matches that would carry over to the business. Amazing, huh? We let a computer game dictate our business decisions. About six to nine months later our company (and Counter-Strike team) split in three, each of us taking a third of the company. My part was our web-hosting clients.

The three of us meeting was pure luck and we never vetted each other's skills before founding the company, but we were all ambitious and wanted to start something.

Anyway, I was kind of upset that I gave the Ventrilo hosting business to my partner and kept the slower growing web host. (Ventrilo is a VoIP service primarily used by computer gamers.) I soon sold that off to Atlantic Metro and looked for a partner to help found a new Ventrilo host.

I was now a sophomore at Yale, and still a computer science student, but I didn't really know many programmers there. I remembered that I had met a guy named David Grampa in my C++ Database class who I use to play Counter-Strike with. I had his AIM name lying around and reached out to him. I had no idea about his computer programming talents, but I knew he (1) liked computer games, (2) had used Ventrilo and (3) had to be at least a decent programmer.

I reached out in December, 2003 over AIM and was quickly able to convince him to start the company with me. I literally had met David twice or three times during our lecture class, but had never hung out with him outside of class and had no clue about what he was like as a person or his experience with web development.

Reaching out to David was like going on a blind date with a girl that you knew absolutely nothing about except that she was indeed a girl. This was the second time in my life where I'd gone into a co-founder relationship without vetting the other person beyond "Are you interested in doing this? Yes? OK, let's do it then." This relationship did last nearly five years, though.

Story: Carbonmade

Carbonmade was the first time in my life as an entrepreneur that luck wasn't 100% involved in picking my co-founders. It was still completely random that I met them, but we did at least build up a six-month working relationship before we agreed on becoming partners. However, we never saw each other face-to-face until after signing the papers.

I hired Jason and Dave, who were running a web design firm, to do a large project for me right after I sold TypeFrag. I actually reached out to Dave back when I was still working at TypeFrag and asked him to design some business cards for us — a job he rightly declined — through a mutual friend of ours, Matt Brett.

Luckily when I approached Dave and Jason again six months later, they had just wrapped up a project and were looking to sink their teeth into something big. I pitched them my idea and we ran with it for six months. During those six months we got to know each other rather well over e-mail and phone. We also chatted a lot about my past experiences as an entrepreneur and what I had accomplished.

Both of them were thinking about how to take their two-person design firm to the next level. They also had this little side project called Carbonmade that was rather neat, and asked for my thoughts about that. Then one day Dave approached me about being a one-third partner in nterface (their old design firm) and Carbonmade. We still hadn't met each other in person, but I accepted.

The circumstances of my ending up with these two co-founders were still pretty hit-or-miss, but even so, this was far and away the most vetted out of all of my relationships. We worked together for six months on a project, got along well, and we complemented each other's skill sets. I know that this relationship will last a long time, and maybe even result in another startup down the road.

If The Shoe Doesn't Fit

The good thing about starting an Internet company is that things happen at a relatively quick pace. You'll know within a few months — maybe even weeks — if the two or three of you aren't getting along. If things aren't going the way you hoped they would, you can always part ways, move on, and start something else. You may find yourself distraught and discouraged, but it's better to end things early and try again than to waste years of your life trying to patch things up.

I really lucked out with all of my co-founders at TypeFrag and Carbonmade. You may not be so lucky. However, it only gets easier with time and experience like so many things entrepreneurial. Just keep at it, try to meet as many people as you can, and in the long run, even though luck never stops playing a role, you'll be in a better and better position to combine luck with experience.

Comments

Michael about 2 months ago

Good article.

What are the traits that you should look for in co-founders? How do you hold them accountable over the long run?

Logo of Spencer Fry Spencer Fry about 2 months ago

Michael: Thanks. What I'm trying to argue is that when you're on your first startup it's purely blind luck. There's no way that your network is big enough and your skill-set is well enough defined that you can find the perfect co-founder. Also, the perfect co-founder doesn't exist.

I think if you are looking at simply traits then you have to find someone that compliments your skills, is genuine, a good person, reliable, works hard, and understands the life that they've chosen. This isn't a game. Running a startup isn't easy. Your co-founder needs to know all of that from the start.

JK Scheinberg about 2 months ago

Nice article. I recently read Founders at Work and that got me thinking about these types of things as I contemplate aggressively and seriously starting up something. I've been at 3 startups and co-founded one back in the 80's and 90's and there is certainly a lot to be said for having done it once (or more times) before.

Robert Gaal about 2 months ago

I always find myself in a similar position when people ask me how I met my co-founder. It really was just a combination of luck and convenience that in my example worked out great. So I think it's more a question of: how do you get to know each other as quickly as possible, and if things go bad, how do you get out smoothly?

Logo of Spencer Fry Spencer Fry about 2 months ago

Robert: It's no different than any other close relationship. For example, if you get introduced to a new friend, you may have a falling out a few weeks later and just stop hanging out. Sadly if you're building a business you just can't do that.

You have to either make it work or get out. And if things go badly with a business relationship, you better hope you have something in a written contract that can do the talking for you.

Kim Scheinberg about 2 months ago

I think the biggest problem with online dating is that none of the sites (Match, OkCupid, Nerve, etc.) are asking the right questions.

I married my dream guy, and I often comment that if I'd seen his profile on a dating site, I would have passed him up immediately.

What dating and co-founding have in common are that, too often, we ourselves don't know what it is we should be looking for. I certainly didn't know until after I'd found it.

Phineasb about 2 months ago

I agree it tends to be random and that as a first time founder you need luck. While it is impossible to get to know someone really well really fast, I think you can get a sense for two key things: trust and interest alignment. I did not do this and it destroyed my company and hurt me a ton.

I learned life is short, people don't change and so the minute you know it is not a fit you need to unwind the relationship. The longer you stay, the more value is ultimately destroyed when things fall apart.

You should start a business with people you would let watch your kids or drive your mom to the airport. You should found companies with people you would trust to manage your personal finances, hold your house key or date your sister. If you get the sense that you can't trust someone, no matter how talented they are, walk away.

As the company progresses, the plan will change and your vision will adjust. Decisions will get hard and when they do, you need to be on the same page as your founding partners. In my experience, this is most acute around money. Should you sell? Should you raise money on specific terms? Should you take the business in a new direction that is higher risk, but represents a larger total opportunity? There is no way to know the answer to all these questions when you start or to know what your co-founders will want to do, but if you look for people in similar financial situations to yourself, you have a better shot at agreeing about what ''a lot'' of money is and what types of risk are ''worth it.''

Last, agree to ownership and management structure up front, when you are all friends and the company is worth zero. Discuss your goals and vision for the business as well as personal goals as a founder. Write it down and sign it. At least this way, if and when it changes, you can go back to a point of agreement and work it out from there.

Sorry to blog in your blog Spencer, but this topic is close to my heart.

sghael about 2 months ago

''Founders at Work'' is a great read for understanding the dynamic of founding a company, and can definitely give some insight on what to do/no do in terms of co-founding.

I think the most important thing is to have a healthy balance of skill, from which mutual respect is derived. Simply put, this means that if you are founding a techincal product company, both individuals need to be techincal enough to contribute concretely to the product. It simply doesn't make sense to have one techy guy and one biz guy, because the biz guy is not going to have anything to do... and then eventually that imbalance will lead to resentment or frustration by both parties.

If you are a biz guy trying to found a tech/web based company, you better be bringing a lot to the partnership because its not going to be enought to be an ''idea guy''.

If you are two biz guys trying to found a tech/product company... god help you. I'll be blunt... this rarely works unless you have deeep pockets, a rolodex to match, and crazy awesome management/leadership skills.

And finally, it really helps to get on the same page about what type of company you are trying to build. What are the core philosophies? What are the movtives. Be honest. Is it a biz that is about being self-employed? Is the biz about just trying to make as much money as possibe? Are you wanting to exit the biz asap or are do you want to be involved in this product/biz for the long haul. You need to talk about these things.

Logo of Spencer Fry Spencer Fry about 2 months ago

Phineas: That was just a brilliant follow up. I love how you equate trusting your co-founders to being able to take care of your kids, date your sister, etc. Trust really is something that is so undervalued in business (and in life).

Interest alignment is also vital. I walked away from a side project recently, because I didn't have an equal amount of time to commit as the other co-founders did. If I was to spend only a few hours a week on it, I would have felt bad and our personal relationships probably would have soured because of it.

Kim Scheinberg about 2 months ago

I agree that you want a co-founder with unimpeachable integrity, but I disagree with the examples you latched onto, Spencer. House keys and bank accounts, sure. But dating my sister?

That seems like a misalignment to me. I've known several successful founders who were terrific guys in every sense of the word, but few had the bandwidth to devote to anything other than their company.

Trust is integral in both cases, but I've dissuaded JK from taking any start-up gigs because the qualities that would make him great Founder would inevitably make him less than ideal as a husband.

[And I'm not suggesting that some people can't do both at the same time, but in my experience, they're rare.]

Again, not undermining Phineas' point, which I think is on the money. Just disagree with the parallels he chose.

Cory Levy about 2 months ago

Well written post! It's so hard for first time entrepreneurs to find an A+ player cofounder because he/she is a first time entrepreneur. This is where luck comes in...or fail fast and early.

-Cory Levy

Logo of Spencer Fry Spencer Fry about 2 months ago

Kim: You bring up a good point about that a married person would be worse off as a spouse if they were in a startup. This is certainly true. It's why you see more and more venture capitals taking age into consideration. Most founders these days are under 35 and many are under 30 or 25. I even find it hard to keep a girlfriend and run a startup at the same time. I often say that my love life is the one area in my life that suffers the most from my success as an entrepreneur.

Kumar Saurabh about 2 months ago

Very well written post indeed, and surprising because after doing this for about 18 months, i have formed my own opinions, and I can tell you - a lot of points you mentioned here ring so true.

Mutual respect. Mutual Accountability. Well understood roles and goals. Cannot emphasize last point enough. Several people just handwave at what they are going to bring to the table, without being measurable. To me if you can't measure it, it counts for nothing.

Logo of Spencer Fry Spencer Fry about 2 months ago

Kumar: All those things come into play for maintaining a good relationship with your co-founders, but here I'm writing more about the luck involved. Mutual respect and accountability really belong in a separate essay.

Tristan Kromer about 2 months ago

Hi Spencer,

This topic is also close to my heart. I'd be interested to discuss it more over a game of chess. I'm developing a site specifically to target this issue and largely drawing from internet dating sites for a comparable model.

http://startupSQUARE.com

Cheers,
Tristan

Logo of Spencer Fry Spencer Fry about 2 months ago

Tristan: That's funny, because I mentioned Internet dating sites giving you more information than places where you might meet a potential co-founder.

Rick Falls about 2 months ago

This is very helpful and on point.

I would groove on finding someone (or two) to ride along with me (and guide me) while I put the bigger picture together, but it seems there's a gaping void between any approachable money people, and a super energetic guy (that would be me) with a relevant new idea, complete with an actionable business development plan for a fresh new (starving market) idea.

The marketing premise that I'm starting my company with is one that helps (practically coaches) small business in their transition to new media, and in that process it saves them money, and also helps them understand better what exactly they do and why, it then allows us to uncover additional profit streams for them.

Winners everywhere !

From what I've seen about VC's, I'll take the peanut butter and jelly/bootstrap funding method of cranking things up rather than just being snatch and grabbed.
I have several years of skin in the game.

I have a difficult time understanding why it's so tough to match up partners with complimentary skill sets and lofty visions.

And to think that's exactly what I want to be when I grow up, and still no role models to hook up with. Bummer.

Maybe I should deploy my ''pick it apart and rebuild it right'' marketing approach to the people looking for great ideas to fund? Hmmm.

It is truly a great time to be a big kid.

Logo of Spencer Fry Spencer Fry about 2 months ago

Rick: It's difficult because you're basically forming a marriage like bond with another person (or two). That stuff isn't easy to do. It's hard to go out there and meet new friends let alone new business partners. That's why there's so much luck involved.

Michael Rice about 2 months ago

It's funny because your story with Counter Strike is very similar to mine, except mine was over Halo 2. Although I ended up meeting a friend and we've launched a couple successful things, and we're already planning one of our biggest yet!

Tristan Kromer about 2 months ago

Yes, I'm amazed at how quickly people plunge into a relationship with business partners which have several very clear and predictable points of contention which they will never discuss. But to find a boy/girl friend? People have a litany of criteria an arm's length long.

Logo of Spencer Fry Spencer Fry 23 days ago

Tristan: Haha. That's so true. I think it's because people don't have as much practice seeking co-founders as they do going on dates.

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